Friday, January 2, 2009

Out with the Old, In with the New

What a crap way to end the year. December was a really, REALLY bad month. I insist that 2009 be better than its predecessor and will do whatever I have to do to insure that happens. Why was December so bad, you ask?

First there was the death of my uncle Gary Perdue (my father's brother). He and I weren't close and I hadn't actually seen him in many years, but he was family. He had been fighting brain tumors for a couple of years and lasted about 18 months longer than doctors predicted, so it's not like this was unexpected. I do have some vague but fond memories of Gary from my childhood. With him gone now, although I would very much like to reclaim that part of my heritage and be closer to that side of the family I don't know who to stay in touch with to do that.

M had been acting strangely toward me for a couple of months, not as affectionate, more interested in sex but less able to perform, and all but ignoring me in favor of his computer. He would spend all night sitting at his computer typing away with a cryptic smile on his face. I had my suspicions, even made jokes about them, but he denied having any online girlfriends. Then I was using his computer to try to play a game he's enrolled in a beta for. I was trying to find his password when I ran across some devastatingly sexual text. My suspicions were confirmed and I emailed him telling him to call me as soon as he got the message (he was at work). He did so and I told him what I had found. I also told him that he had to choose. Luckily, he chose me. I think in the long run that this will bring us closer together as it seems to have opened up lines of communication that had long ago been shut down. Still, I am hurt and the edifice of trust is slow to be rebuilt. We seem to be on the right track now, though, and I have high hopes for our continued good relationship.

We had his boys with us for Christmas. Enough said about that. They were well behaved and there were none of the pants-pooping problems we've had in the past with the elder boy. (It still burns me up when I think about how much time and effort I put into finding just the right gifts for M and his boys online while he was talking dirty to some woman.) We went to my granfather's house for Christmas Eve with my family and it was good. My grandfather seemed kind of sick, but said it was just a cold although he did tell M that it wasn't fun being old and frail. We went back to his house on Christmas Day fro lunch. It was nice to be surrounded by family. My nephews took M's boys under their wing and they all had a good time. The knitted gifts I made were a huge hit, too.

Then, on the 27th I got the call from my mom. My grandfather had died. I thought I could write about it here but it's too soon. Crap, here come the tears again. He was a great man and I doubt I will ever meet another with his integrity. I'll follow this up when I can, but it's too soon now.J.C. Reynolds
01/17/1927 - 12/27/2008
Goodbye, Grandfather. Your Sugar Baby will always love you.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

time heals all wounds(well,most). hope u r remembering some of the good times soon instead of the bad ones.