Still looking

Does anyone out there know of anyplace M can get a job? He interviewed in Ft. Worth yesterday. I really don't want to move to Ft. Worth, but will go wherever I need to with him. I guess I didn't mention that he had a court date toward the end of January? He is allowed to stay out on bond pending his appeal. That means the judge thinks that there is a good chance the appeals court will grant an appeal. I dare not get my hopes up, but it's better than the alternative. Although if he does have to go to prison at least one of us is guaranteed a place to stay for a couple of years.

Still no work for M

 M is still out of a job. We managed to borrow enough money from his best friend to pay the bills, but if things don't change soon I have no idea what we shall do. With my grandfather being gone I am truly without a safety net. His house, which he had agreed to let us stay in if things went bad, is now owned by my uncle and I am hesitant to ask. I have little pride left, but I prefer not to have to beg my family for a place to stay. Still, I will do whatever it takes. I have tried living in my car before and I didn't particularly enjoy it. I doubt I would like it any better now.

 I am also looking for work, trying for an administrative assistant job. So far there has been no interest, but I am trying really hard to remain upbeat. If only I could find someone who just needed errands run or something, someone who was maybe too busy to take care of all the little things himself and willing to pay me to take care of it. *sigh* Like that's going to happen. 

 I've been neglecting my knitting, but I am working on a hat and a couple of blankets. The hat is my design, made largely with a KnitWit tool and a wire from a cheapie Halloween witch's hat, with a little bit of knitting in there for the shaping.  Theblankets are a feather and fan pink and purple mess and Red Heart Super Saver piece of crap that I hope will turn into something better than it is now. Both are knit in strips so for now it just looks like I'm making more scarves. 

 I want to WRITE, but it just isn't coming to me. 

We had M's boys this weekend. I don't recall if I've mentioned that we only have them once a month now, but we do. The older boy was horrible. He pooped in his pants three times. I am so very sick of his behavior but I don't know what to do about it. He doesn't do it when he's at home I don't think it's a medical issue. I know it makes me a bad person to so strongly dislike a child, but I can't help it. He is so very unpleasant to be around. I do my best to be kind and nurturing, but every time the boys are here I am reminded of how very happy I am with my decision to not have any kids of my own.                       

 

M was fired

M has lost his job. I am scared that his legal issues will make it hard for him to find another as easily as he has in the past, plus with the economy being what it is... We shall see. 

New Year, new beginnings...

Bellydancing. Yep, I'm going to give it a go and give Mark a show for our belated Valentine's Day celebration. I ordered some instructional DVDs and the first delivery arrived today. Discover Bellydance is the name of the 3 DVD set I'll be starting with on Monday. Oh, and Mark is getting me a ring for Valentine's Day as well. Of course we have his boys on that weekend (the 14th is a Friday) as his ex is an absolute monster of a bitter shrew who wants to make sure that no celebration is left unmarred by her and her spawn. More on that later.

The other DVD is Sensual Bellydance and it is on its way. I'm hoping this will not only teach me a fun, sexy skill but also give me a low impact workout and encourage my metabolism to speed up. I am so fat and out of shape these days that it frightens me. 

Good news on his legal stuff. His sentencing date is the 23rd, but the judge sent out a letter saying that the motion to allow him to stay out pending appeal was granted. So as far as I've been able to find out it will be another year or so before there is further movement on this case.

Here is a picture of the ring he's getting me.

Of course it was my decision that he get me a ring and I chose the design, but he didn't hesitate when I told him. He is even considering getting a ring himself. 

I don't like Mondays

It's a cold, wet day today, the kind of day best spent in front of a fireplace with a good book and a calm cat. Alas, I have no fireplace, my cat is insane and hyper most of the time, and I haven't the time right now to settle in for a long session of reading. No, today is for cleaning. I hate cleaning. I am a slob and could happily live in a messy home, but M is not the same way. And since he is off at work all day while I remain here, well, the cleaning naturally becomes my responsibility. I dread it and do just about anything I can to procrastinate. Like writing a blog entry about it. But no, Mondays are for cleaning and the kitchen floor needs to be mopped. *sigh* I fear that Tuesday and Wednesday this week are also for cleaning. Maybe later I'll have a little time for knitting if I get started on the kitchen now...

Out with the Old, In with the New

What a crap way to end the year. December was a really, REALLY bad month. I insist that 2009 be better than its predecessor and will do whatever I have to do to insure that happens. Why was December so bad, you ask?

First there was the death of my uncle Gary Perdue (my father's brother). He and I weren't close and I hadn't actually seen him in many years, but he was family. He had been fighting brain tumors for a couple of years and lasted about 18 months longer than doctors predicted, so it's not like this was unexpected. I do have some vague but fond memories of Gary from my childhood. With him gone now, although I would very much like to reclaim that part of my heritage and be closer to that side of the family I don't know who to stay in touch with to do that.

M had been acting strangely toward me for a couple of months, not as affectionate, more interested in sex but less able to perform, and all but ignoring me in favor of his computer. He would spend all night sitting at his computer typing away with a cryptic smile on his face. I had my suspicions, even made jokes about them, but he denied having any online girlfriends. Then I was using his computer to try to play a game he's enrolled in a beta for. I was trying to find his password when I ran across some devastatingly sexual text. My suspicions were confirmed and I emailed him telling him to call me as soon as he got the message (he was at work). He did so and I told him what I had found. I also told him that he had to choose. Luckily, he chose me. I think in the long run that this will bring us closer together as it seems to have opened up lines of communication that had long ago been shut down. Still, I am hurt and the edifice of trust is slow to be rebuilt. We seem to be on the right track now, though, and I have high hopes for our continued good relationship.

We had his boys with us for Christmas. Enough said about that. They were well behaved and there were none of the pants-pooping problems we've had in the past with the elder boy. (It still burns me up when I think about how much time and effort I put into finding just the right gifts for M and his boys online while he was talking dirty to some woman.) We went to my granfather's house for Christmas Eve with my family and it was good. My grandfather seemed kind of sick, but said it was just a cold although he did tell M that it wasn't fun being old and frail. We went back to his house on Christmas Day fro lunch. It was nice to be surrounded by family. My nephews took M's boys under their wing and they all had a good time. The knitted gifts I made were a huge hit, too.

Then, on the 27th I got the call from my mom. My grandfather had died. I thought I could write about it here but it's too soon. Crap, here come the tears again. He was a great man and I doubt I will ever meet another with his integrity. I'll follow this up when I can, but it's too soon now.J.C. Reynolds
01/17/1927 - 12/27/2008

Goodbye, Grandfather. Your Sugar Baby will always love you.

Classes

I began my Core Java class last night and, well, I must admit to being a trifle disappointed. The instructor is an affable enough fellow, but I didn't feel that he gave the material enough explanation. I worry that if I hadn't already familiarized myself with some of the Java fundamentals that perhaps I would have no idea what he was doing. Or maybe I just prefer having more in-depth explanations of concepts that don't necessarily require them?
Anyway, the class went reasonably well, I suppose, but I don't think it's going to give me what I need to get a certification, so it looks like I'm going back to studying more on my own as well as taking the class. And I still have almost half of my Christmas knitting to finish up. The feather and fan scarf/wrap I'm working on is just not seeming to grow at a rate I find acceptable, so instead of working at it more diligently, I become frustrated and set it aside. Foolish, non?