houses and cats and knitting

It still shocks me sometimes when I realize that this is MY house. Mine. In all its ramshackle glory. Okay, so it's not falling apart, but it still needs a lot of work. And it's cold in here, but that's all right. I can deal with the cold.

We got a new cat yesterday and Cat, my lovely older cat, is none too pleased by the addition. But she is a cutie. I finally talked M into letting me get one and someone had posted one recently on freecycle, so now she's ours.

Not a lot of time to write, must go pay bills, but thought I'd mention the new kitten. Oh, and the knitting... I've been making hats for Carolee, my stepsister with breast cancer. (Her surgery went very well, btw, thank you for your well wishes.) This week, though, I'm being selfish. I bought the cutest brown and pink paisley top, but it's sleeveless and I need some sort of wrap to wear with it so I'm making myself a shrug and hope to have it ready to wear when we take the boys to the county fair this weekend. We shall see...

I'll try to get some pictures of the house fixes we've made so far and the knitting I've been doing and of course of the new furbaby, but I make no guarantees.

Mostly, things are going well. M and I are very happy, although his commute is making him kind of crazy.

My stepsister

Many years ago, back in my late teen years my mother married a man. That was over 20 years ago (barely) and they are still rather happily married. They met at church and I knew his daughters, who were roughly the same age as me. The younger of the daughters, Carolee, was funny and beautiful and kind and while we were never particularly close, I have no memories of her being anything other than sweet.

Carolee is about a year younger than I am, married with children and living in the area we grew up in... and that I just moved back to. I haven't seen her in about 20 years or so. She has been a thoughtful stepdaughter to my mother over the years and is apparently still as sweet as I remember her being.

Last week, Carolee was diagnosed with breast cancer. It's an aggressive strain that has already spread to her lymph nodes. Her surgery is tomorrow morning. I don't know how to help, but I can knit, so I am knitting for her. So far I have nearly finished a shawl... after that will be a lapghan and a bag to carry both pieces in. I've heard that such things are comforting and good to have for chemo treatments. I am just hoping that she has a full and speedy recovery with as little pain as possible.

My heart goes out to you Carolee. Though we aren't close, I still think of you as family and I would be honored to help you in any way you might need during your recovery. Please just be okay.

In the house

So we're in the house now and our stuff is in the house and things have settled a bit into something that vaguely resembles a routine. I don't function well without a routine, so it's good. M has to leave for work at about 7:00 every morning and doesn't get home until 7 in the evening, so the commute is taking a real toll on him. And, as always, money is still very tight. And the house needs so very much work...
We've painted the living room, the kitchen, the master bedroom and the primary bath. And I am thisclose to having the kitchen all organized (ha! we'll see how long that lasts). I even made some chocolate chip cookies last week (of course from scratch. That's the only way I'll do it any more) and they turned out wonderfully.
I am not a tidy person. It wouldn't be at all a distortion of the truth if one were to refer to me even as a slob... in fact, many have done so. But, OH MY GOD, the sheer volume of disgusting filth that the previous occupants of this house left behind is staggering. I'm not talking about a patina of dust or even a layer of dirt, no, I mean serious, what-the-hell-is-it-that-I'm-on-my-hands-and-knees-scrubbing-off-this-floor kind of nastiness. And gum. WTF? Who has dried up spat-out gum stuck to their kitchen floor? Ew. Needless to say, as much as cleaning it up grossed me out leaving it there would have been far, far worse.
So I spend my days cleaning, mostly. It's my house, so I don't really mind so much. And it's nice after all the stress of moving to be able to be leisurely about putting things away. I want to do it right, and we have the space, so I'm trying to make sure to find a permanent home for each item before unpacking it. It's gonna take a very long time to unpack, but I don't mind.

I'll try to get some pictures soon of the new paint and some before and afters of the cleaning.

New House, closing day after tomorrow!

A little over a week ago my wonderful realtor (Beverly Stein of Jenel McGrath realty if anyone is househunting in the Sherman, TX area) let me know that the deal on the duplex might not go through. Apparently the bank that foreclosed owned the second lien and the bank that owned the first lien went under and... I don't know or understand all the specifics. But Bev said that chances are we wouldn't be able to close on that house in the foreseeable future. BUT she had another house in Denison that she wanted us to take a look at. So we did.

It's 1610 square feet and close to downtown. The garage was converted into a master suite and it is freaking HUGE, probably about 450 square feet. It's very oddly laid out but I think it will be perfect for our needs. There is a space in the front that we'll be using for the boys; for now it will have their computers and toys in the first section of the room and their bed in the back. That's just off the living room. Then there's the kitchen. Wow, it is so mch bigger than any kitchen I've ever had before. It was redone not too long ago and has the most wonderful cabinetry and an island. Best of all, they are letting us buy the side by side refrigerator and the gas stove for $150. Oh, and there's even a built in dishwasher, so I am thrilled about that!

Off the kitchen is what will soon be my studio. That is the room I'll probably have the most fun decorating. The utility room is attached to it and the first of the 3 bathrooms is there as well as the washer and dryer hookups. I think it will be a really good space for my crafting needs. Then there is the other bathroom (the only one that works at the moment) and an undefined space. Then there is the master suite. There is another bathroom with a ton of room to make it a wonderfully relaxing spa-like retreat.

The bedroom will need some work, but I think eventually it can be a really lovely place for us. There is a wood burning fireplace and a sliding glass door that leads to the backyard.

I am so looking forward to getting all the measurements so I can play around with my decorating software (Sierra Home Architect... I highly recommend it!) and figure out the plcement for furniture and the colors for paint and all of that stuff. Closing is the day after tomorrow and I couldn't be more excited about it. I'll take pictures and try to post them on Thursday or Friday.

I hope that things are going well for you. This whole odyssey has restored my faith in a number of ways and I feel incredibly blessed to have this opportunity.

So much blood...

*warning* this might get a little graphic and/or just plain icky to some readers.

I have a condition of some sort. The line from a song (who did that song, anyway? Maybe I'll look later) "I'm not sick but I'm not well" keeps playing through my head...

It started about 6 weeks ago. My periods have been weird for a couple of years now, but I have some pretty sketchy history of bad things going on with my girly bits, so I thought little of it. Also, with no insurance and no money to speak of it's not like anything could be done about it even if something were wrong. (PLEASE, we *need* universal healthcare in this country NOW!) But my period in May just didn't end. It got a bit lighter, but there was blood in varying amounts every day. That scared me. Finally I made an appointment at the local Planned Parenthood and went in for a Pap. Ugh, hate those things, but so necessary for a woman's health. It turns out that where I had precancerous cells removed a few years ago there is some sort of something growing on my cervix. The nurse practitioner, a lovely and warm woman who beat breast cancer a few years back, had never seen anything like it. She said it looks like endometrial cells are growing on my cervix and they are what's causing the bleeding.

I've suspected for several years that I suffer from endometriosis. I have all the symptoms, but without surgery nothing can really be done. It goes again to the lack of insurance. A lot of pain, debilitating cramps, pain (and bleeding) during and after sex, menstrual cramping in weird places, extra heavy bleeding. If you're not familiar with endometriosis, let me tell you about it. It's a bizarre condition where endometrial cells (which are the kind that are supposed to grow only in the lining of the uterus) start growing in other parts of the body. Most commonly they grow in the abdominal area, but I've also read that they can grow in places as foreign to them as the lungs and even the nose and eyes. So I am very lucky that mine isn't that severe. The thing is, because endometrial lining is shed with fluctuating hormone levels, it happens with these misplaced cells, too. And you get bleeding and pain.

So I began doing some research on cervical endometriosis. There is very little info out there that I could find online, but some of what I did find led me to think that this is almost certainly what is going on with me. Several years ago I was diagnosed with severe high grade cervical dysplasia and went through a LEEP (Loop Electrical Excision Procedure, I think). Basically, they electrically cauterized the bad spots on my cervix. One of the few articles I found regarding cervical endometriosis stated that while it is very uncommon, it does tend to grow where LEEPs have been performed.

I'm supposed to make an appointment for a colposcopy, but those aren't performed at my local Planned Parenthood and I don't know how we'll be able to afford it. Colposcopies are horrible things where they stick you in the stirrups on the table then take a look with a huge lighted microscope. The worst part is that they use iodine (although apparently they can also use vinegar, but my experience in the past was with iodine... man, that stuff BURNS!) all up inside. Of all the procedures I went through during my last gynecological mess the colpo was the one I hated most. Also, I'm still waiting for the house to close, so I don't want to be stuck with a microscope between my legs when I need to be buying my house (July 3rd is the new date on the contract extension for closing to happen by).

So I'm still bleeding. I'm frequently weak and woozy and dehydrated, but part of that may well be because it's so freaking hot and I don't cope well with summer heat. I'm a little scared; I'm not losing all that much blood at a time, but can one bleed indefinitely without there being consequences for the body? I am so tired of bleeding. Every pair of panties I own is now ruined. If I am particularly active the bleeding is heavier, so getting everything done on the house could be problematic.

Other than that, things are going well. M and I are happy and excited about the house and he's working a side project or two that's bringing in a little extra cash. And I've been doing a little knitting. I intend to take pictures later of my latest brimmed summer hat and stole, so I'll post those when I get them done.

Yet more waiting

Still waiting for the closing date, but my Realtor, Bev, said that since this is a cash transaction for an as-is REO property there isn't really anything that can go wrong with the sale at this point. I'm trying to get as much stuff as I can from my local freecycle group. If you aren't a member of a group near you you should definitely join! I've given away a bunch of stuff that would otherwise have been thrown away and I've helped quite a few people in the process. I've also gotten a few things that I needed or wanted from the generosity of others. It's a very good program. I'm going today to pick up a toaster oven, some tile, some moving boxes and a microwave.

It's a very busy day for me. I also need to send off M's court ordered tax stuff and his monthly restitution and something to do with his Massachussetts child support. He's never even seen that child, at the mother's request, so I really think it's ridiculous that he be required to pay so much for a child he will never even meet. At least she's almost 18 now. Only another year or two of paying for that one. I don't begrudge the girl the child support, but since he's never been allowed to even meet her or speak with her on the phone (She was the result of a one night stand back when M was about 21 and between his first and second wives. I am so glad I was always very careful and/or very lucky in my slutty youth!) it seems silly to expect him to send money every month for a child whose life he isn't permitted to be a part of. Then again, I think a man should be able to opt out of paying child support if he's willing to give up all parental rights and it's still early enough in the pregnancy for the woman to have an abortion. It should always be the woman's choice whether or not to carry the child to term, but I know that quite a few women trap men into helping raise children that neither of them really wanted in an effort to keep the men in their lives.

Speaking of child support, M's ex is asking for more money because elder brat needs braces. Ugh. I detest that child and now he'll be even more unpleasant with food rotting in his braces. He's a pig and lazy and whiny and moody and morose, but at least he seems to have stopped crapping in his pants. I know it's horrible of me to so strongly dislike a child, but I have yet to find a redeeming quality in that one. I so dread his upcoming adolescence and puberty. I may find other things to do on the weekends we have them. I will be quite glad in 10 years when they are both grown and I no longer have to devote any part of my home to little boy junk.

In another sort of reproductive related note, I am having severe cramping today, which is odd since my period should have been over several days ago. Friday it will be two full weeks of bleeding and I am so ready for it to be over.

My first home inprovement purchase

So we went to Home Depot today and I found this faucet on clearance in a set with the matching towel rack and paper holder for $19. For some reason I am very excited to have made my first home improvement purchase... now if only I could find a great deal on major appliances. M did manage to pick up a circular saw for only $15 at Lowe's yesterday (yes, we are going a little crazy with the pricing of things we'll need, but it is so exciting!) so thus far we are doing very well when it comes to deals. And I can't believe I'm soon to be a homeowner. There is so much to figure out before we actually move in. And so very much to do... But we are taking today off.